Let's not "do some steam" this time, I thought.I felt beautiful, and new when I came out. I am a woman. Women should look beautiful, so they attract men. That's nature, that's the world. I repeated the mantra all the way home.David was cinching up a tie, and throwing a jacket over his shoulder when I came in. "Dinner with a couple of city commissioners," he said, heading for the door. He kissed my cheek so fast he almost missed.I held out my arms and gave him my most coquettish smile. "What do you think?" C'mon big guy, I'm your girl next door. Have an affair with me.He stopped and squinted. "Izzat a new dress or somethin'?" Strike one." I'll figure it out. I gotta go." He swept past me, climbed into his leased Porsche, the one the firm gave him, and was gone.Well fuck him, I thought darkly. This butterfly was pissed off.I made popcorn, found a romantic movie-the kind where the guy gets the girl--and fixed myself a vodka and tonic.The cell phone didn't ring once all night.The next. "I was trying to keep this from happening. I was afraid that my heart was taking me somewhere my head couldn't deal with." I can imagine, Dan. You've always appeared to be a man of honor. I worried that Jan was infatuated, but after a bit I saw it didn't fit the infatuation plan." It's not an infatuation, Grandma," I said. "We want to get married."Dan spoke. "We are formally asking your permission. As her guardian, you have to sign for her anyway." Funny," Grandma said, "how a couple of signatures can change you from a sex criminal into a husband of a young bride." She turned to me. "You know that, don't you, Jan? You two in bed makes him a felon?"I shook at the thought. We'd talked, she and I, about one of my friends at school who turned up pregnant and tried to get married. Her parents finally relented, but they wanted to press charges."Grandma, we know. I want to marry him. End of game." But this weekend you..." Grandma's eyes. She knows."Dan, I'm sorry..." I started to tear.
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